Emotions are such powerful parts of the human race, they can be positive, bringing with them a sense of being overtaken with wonder, they can be all consuming with negative thoughts, they can be fuel, and can sustain us, and make us feel like the great and powerful.
They can also frustrate, they can be a hurdle and stop a person making progress, for making plans and forging an adventure- in a way that we cannot work out.
They can impact on our lives, within our work, we can use them to become someone else for a while, to become lost in another world, to create a space only known to us.
I wanted to write a little about one such emotion that I have witnessed, felt and have observed both in my working and personal life.
Fear
It prevent change, prevent improvement, prevent safety.
I have experienced it- to be so powerful that no other thoughts or conversation can be had, that it becomes physically impossible to move, and that there seems no way out of it.
It seems to take its energy from the most negative place, and even those with immeasurable strength can be disabled by it, but for some it can be switched and changed into feeling powerful, and sometimes the actions from that can be both positive, and destructive.
For some who have never experienced it- I have heard comments as they struggle to understand its power, and how it can be "allowed" so much "airspace".
We should never undervalue a persons feelings- or ride rough shot over them- that is when we are in danger of missing the point, of not listening.
Fear- is described as an unpleasant emotion caused by threat or danger, pain or harm- however it is also a vital response to these circumstances, we use our past experiences to shape our fear, and any trauma derived from that.
When working with children and young people, they hold their previous experiences in the forefront of their minds, this shapes their responses to new experiences or a repeat of something that has happened before- and they remember, both the physical and emotional impact this had- they can relive this over again and again.
Acknowledging that this is real- is so important, as this allows them a way of gaining some strength and some control over their biggest fears.
Fear can get "in the way" of change, of asking a different question, and of questioning an action, to bring about positive change.
If children and young people feel they are not supported- they can become fearful, in the same way perhaps it can for health care professionals wanting to support change for them, and others.
Maybe we could look at Fear as a way of the brain saying "there is something here for you to overcome"
To do that - requires strength and support of others.
Perhaps, we need to ask more questions.?
Perhaps, we need to listen.?
Perhaps, we need to change?
But without acknowledging true feelings of fear- if they are shared with us- we cant begin to understand.
"I learnt that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear"
Nelson Mandela (1918-2013)
Sian Spencer-Little
