The Art of the Relationship

                                            

 

 

In many walks of life we come across and meet interesting and amazing characters, in my working life I have met such wonderful, bright and strong children, young people and their families.

 

They have brought so much joy and meaning to the work I love, they spur me on each day- to try and create a safe haven, a ripple of understanding, a place to be.

They have also given me a deeper understanding of their pain, and at times sorrow and despair, they have shone a small light on how it is for them, right now in this moment. 

 

With this in mind it felt natural to take a walk along the  therapeutic road and commence a journey of my own, of deeper understanding of ways to offer that safe "just being" place within my role as a Specialised Play and Activities Practitioner within a healthcare setting.

Its not always easy, and sometimes I see children and young people for such a short time, that I wanted that time to be solely for them, to choose and explore in a safe way, and if anything allowing a little of their story to be heard.

 

Stories are talked about as having such powerful meanings to those telling- but also to those receiving.

This weekend I have been sharing my story , and learning about using different creative techniques- ways a child or young person might choose to share a little of themselves or what matters to them.

The over riding theme this weekend- has been be curious, don't make assumptions about how a child or young person feels.

Learn how to play as adults so we learn through a child's eyes.

Take time to really imagine how or what story we are being shown.

I have also be able to share a little of myself with a group of equally amazing Health Care Professionals and colleagues who work in education.

 

Our core aim appeared to be the same, yet I was very aware we had all come together as strangers, and at times it felt uncomfortable, a little frightening and raw, then taking a step back- these are just some of the feelings a child or young person might have-so  how can we extend the listening ear, how can we support and help children and young people explore their emotions, in a way that is unassuming and safe?

We were about to find out.

 

Any relationship takes time, 

understanding, to grow meaning.

 

To be secure, to have your own sense of self- for some that is asking the impossible. -  there are so many external forces asking us to change, to be something we are not, impacting on our learning and growth, and so our sense of self gets distorted and lost.

For children and young people they have to have the opportunity to explore their own sense of self, of identity, and for some facing unimaginable trauma and ill health this is just to painful and to difficult.

 

I wanted to share some of the key points I have had time to process from this weekend- these are just a few! 

They may assist or resonate with some of you during your working week, or any long term work you are doing-

 

• Be present with the child or young person- the relationship, the quality of this, be curious.
• Keep shining a light on the process- wonder what its like to be that child or young person.
• How are we seen by children and young people- are we number 10 in a long line of adults that have been in their lives?
• To grow the depth of understanding- and the relationship , always check in with yourself- how does it feel.
• The use of image and the arts allows us to be alongside a child or young person using metaphor.
• Use the creative process to allow a child or young person to express what they feel, their story.
• Allow that to be heard with reflective listening.
• Be playful- it allows more freedom, this in turn makes the experience richer.
• Don't make assumptions.

 

We always have room to learn and develop...................take the moment.

 

 

 

Sian Spencer-Little

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Play4C&YP in Health.: Making a Difference.

Play4C&YP in Health.: Making a Difference.:                                              I am a strong believer in positive thoughts, words, deeds and actions. Like the most h...

Making a Difference.

                                          

 

I am a strong believer in positive thoughts, words, deeds and actions.

Like the most humblest of people Mahatma Gandhi's very core was about values, beliefs and truth.

I believe that these values have an ability to impact on a situation, to offer a supportive hand, to simplify overwhelming episodes and experiences and support the learning process.

Equally I believe that I am honoured to work in a profession that allows me a small but intimate window into family life, sometimes during immeasurable heartache and pain, but equally at times of joy and relief.

 

During this last week, I have been what some might call a "steady hand" both for my colleagues at work, but also some families I have been fortunate enough to have met and supported ,but not necessarily for myself.

 

At times I have had to process lots of information and emotion in a very short time and with little breaks in-between to work with another family, child and young person.

I realise that we all do this on a daily basis- in many walks of life and work- so I wondered

- if I am struggling with this, if I take a few steps back, how much of a struggle and difficult road must it be to walk when you are a child, or young person, family member or student nurse?

The 6C's of nursing are...... Care, Compassion ,Competence, Communication, Courage, Commitment.

So as I try to make a difference, and be a supportive presence, I never forget why I do what I do and how, I thought about some of the words I have used this week, of the moments in time when I have sat with a child, or a nurse, a family member, a colleague, and how could I share this on a larger platform.

Time, support, care, understanding, respect, journey, process, courage- just some of the words I have said and heard this week.

 

A note to myself- I should never under-estimate the impact this work has on you, the individual, and the experiences of a family, how they share, how they educate, and how they touch your inner core.

As HCP's we are not in a position to call on a superhero with a protective shield when the going gets tough.( even though we might like to- but equally those superhero's are not always there for families either)

 

So here are my Top 6 ~ #SSC ( Sian's steps to self care)

 

 

1. Take a moment to regulate your breathing- this will help you deal with the next part of the journey you take with a child, young person and their family.

2. Give yourself a break- you are human- and in order to support and show empathy and compassion standing back for 5 or 10 min's will allow you to recognise sometimes the enormity of the situation in front of you- and seek advice from your peers.

 

3. Please don't feel you are alone in this journey.

 

4. A process diary is a really good way of getting all of the "tough stuff" we deal with out and down on paper- it can help to make things clearer- and can be helpful in understanding this complicated episode, and enhance your learning and impact your experiences- if this is to difficult, find someone who can sit alongside you.

 

5. Try and see some daylight/sunshine each day- even if it means walking the long way round to the car/ toilet/restaurant/shop/path lab/pharmacy - you get the idea!

 

6. Remind your colleagues and peers to do steps 1-6!!

 

 

 

Sian Spencer-Little